Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Well it’s that time of year again, when the billions of critic groups around the country start handing out awards and high-fives to a number of deserving films and an even larger number of undeserving ones. I honestly don’t have the patience or the time to keep up with all the board/association/press accolades being discussed - 100% of them piss off half of us, and 0% of us are ever happy with all of them.

That being said, The Golden Globes were announced today, and since they’re the 2nd biggest awards ceremony in cinema I thought I might as well throw my two cents in. Unfortunately I haven’t seen a good percentage of the films nominated (simply because they haven’t opened around me yet), and I won’t even get into the television categories, because I just don’t watch enough of it.

The Best Motion Picture category seems to make the most sense, although I’m scratching my head over the inclusion of Inception and not 127 Hours (which I have seen) or True Grit (which I have not). Inception is great filmmaking, but it's also bulky, oddly paced, and emotionally cold. I like Chris Nolan a lot and I’ll revisit the movie often, but it’s nowhere close to the brilliance of 127 Hours, which manages to be both masterful filmmaking and emotionally satisfying.

The next category I can’t comment on, as I’m not familiar enough with the nominees for Best Actress in a Drama, but I’ll go on to say I hope James Franco ends up acquiring a statue for 127 Hours Best Actor in a Drama category.

After those three fairly predictable groupings comes the oddest collection of Best Picture nominees I think I've ever seen. In the Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical category, the following films have been chosen: Alice in Wonderland (trash), Burlesque (supposed trash, haven't seen it), The Kids Are Alright (supposed greatness, haven't seen it), Red (supposed fun, haven't seen it), and The Tourist (absolutely wretched). Alice in Wonderland and The Tourist are not the best of anything except, maybe, at making me hate the art of filmmaking.

If those two films aren't a big flashing neon sign that blinks "WE JUST WANT TO BE LOVED AND COOL!", perhaps the fact that Johnny Depp is NOMINATED TWICE IN THE SAME CATEGORY (Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical) FOR THOSE SAME TWO MOVIES should betray the Hollywood Foreign Press' true intentions. Although The Tourist flopped, there's pretty much no bigger movie star in the world than Johnny Depp. Years ago, I wondered why he wasn't a bigger name than he was (around the ...Gilbert Grape years), and then the world caught up too late and the Depp love jumped the shark when, after almost 20 years of solid performances, he was finally nominated for an Academy Award after playing a flamboyant pirate.

And that's all I have to say about the Golden Globes at this point. I hate to be part of the inevitable backlash, but the HFPA has become increasingly nonchalant about their celebrity ass-kissing in recent years, and sooner or later the awards show itself will resemble nothing more than the MTV Movie Peoples Choice Awards.

For a full list of nominee, go here

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